When I first started my speaking career I put together a demo video and sent it out to several speaker bureaus. Very few got back to me, but I’ll never forget one of them who did. At the end of my demo, there was a clip from a talk where I mentioned the word “love” in the context of leadership.
She responded in her email, “Did you just say love in your video?”
I said, “Yes, why?”
This individual told me they’d seen so many careers get killed because speakers used the word “love” in their talks and if I ever wanted a career in this world she highly suggested I remove it.
This was eye-opening to me because, in the basketball world, I saw coaches who transformed players’ lives because those players knew that their coach loved them. In my personal experience coaching, I was able to reach, connect with, and challenge players to maximize their potential because they knew that I loved them. In fact, when I catch up with most of the players that I coached and still stay in contact with they end the calls telling me, “I love you man”. Love transforms relationships.
I’d invite you for a second to think about the most transformative relationships you’ve ever experienced in your life. Remove yourself from the conditioning of business school or your corporate environment. Weren’t the relationships that transformed your life built upon a foundation of love?
See the thing that most people miss is that love is not just a feeling. Love is also action, commitment, telling people hard truths, holding people accountable, and setting high standards. But, it’s doing these things from a place of understanding, empathy and compassion.
This starts with cultivating it for ourselves. Leading others from our heart starts with leading ourselves from our heart. Because our relationship with ourselves directly reflects on our relationship with the people we lead. When we operate with more kindness, empathy, and compassion towards ourselves we can then extend that to others. We can’t transfer to others what we don’t feel for ourselves.
Even 4-time NFL MVP quarterback Aaron Rodgers, someone who comes from one of the most alpha-oriented environments one can experience, agrees that love is foundational for leadership. He said on the Aubrey Marcus Podcast, “The greatest gift I can give my teammates is to show up and be someone who can model unconditional love to them.”
If you can create a workplace that emphasizes both sides of love — standards and compassion — you’re going to create a culture that engages, attracts, and retains top talent. It starts with how we show up and what we model for those we lead.
LET’S GET TO THE NEXT LEVEL. TOGETHER.
If you’re looking to dive deeper my UNSHAKEABLE workshop or keynote, or our coaching program, might be your ideal next step. Drop us a note to see if we’d be a good fit to help you level up your organization’s leadership.
