I spent last week in Hana, Maui on a yoga, meditation and personal development retreat with Shayna Hiller and others from all across the country. I learned so much about myself by going completely offline, focusing on myself and serving others that were there. It was the most epic, adventurous and life-changing week of my life. But, as much as I learned from myself I learned just as much from a scared, lost and frightened girl from Jersey. Laurel had just got out of a serious relationship, looking to change careers after 8 years and possibly move all the way across the country.
Throughout the week everyone of the 16 people at the retreat jumped off a 35 foot cliff into the Venus pools in Maui. Day by day each person got a little more courage to jump off. Or go to a higher jump.
And by the last day the only person who had not jumped off was Laurel. She kept saying “It’s not that I’m afraid. I just have no desire”.
Deep down our fears kill our wildest desires and dreams.
So on the last day, about an hour before we were supposed to head back to the airport, I grabbed her phone and started walking to the cliff. I asked her, “when have you ever done anything worthwhile in your life that you weren’t a little afraid of or wasn’t hard to do?” She thought about it for a second and answered, “Nothing.”
Joe, a retreat participant from Brooklyn, got her off the couch and started walking her after me, with words of encouragement. When we finally got to the cliff she was terrified. Almost shaking. But, it wasn’t the actually risk she feared. It was her perception of the risk. Humans aren’t supposed to jump off cliffs 35 feet high, but we forget that there is water.
When you first jump off the cliff, it’s not about jumping for the fun of it. It’s about jumping off the cliff in spite of the fear. It’s about training your mind to be uncomfortable in a situation of perceived risk. Emphasis on perceived. And once you become more mindful you realize that so many of our fears are perception. They aren’t reality. But many times, because we don’t have the ability to detach emotionally, these stories of fear and failure get looped in our head. Even though they are nothing close to the truth.
So when we choose to face these perceived fears over and over again, we start to believe so much more is possible in our lives. Even if we fail we view them as a learning experience. An opportunity to grow and use it as a springboard for other areas of our life. For Laurel it wasn’t about jumping off the cliff. It’s about training her mind to know she can switch careers, move across the country and embrace a new relationship with an open heart.
So jump off your cliff. Trust yourself. There is always water.
